Im leaving in a few hours time.
Trying to be far far away from it.
But damaged has been done.
Nothing can possibly change.

Wrote the letter thats were meant for you from mum.
Its long seriously long,but i always wonder and ponder,
when i stare at that letter.
Are you going to read it or just dump in the bin or even tear it apart.
The thought of it scares me.

As how much I want to witness the ceremony,
I cant cause you didnt invite me personally.
I cant possibly just come without an invitation.
Well even,i was invited by grandparents.
But I want you to invite us.
Its not much to ask.

Like the carpet,it beautify and decorate the house.
Fill up the space and even provide warmth for us.
But carpet is the one also capture dirt and germs.
It takes alot of effort,time and energy to clean,maintain it.
As a owner you would love and keep the carpet or pay someone to clean it
Or worst scenario dump in the bin.
Even the best vacuum cleaner cant help to clean the carpet properly.
So what do you wanna be the carpet where you are treated like queen.
Or be the owner or the cleaner.
Mum is tired,too tired to be any.

She tried to be owner do the parenting and educate you
but you throw her away.
A few years back she was the cleaner.
Provide with anything you ask for but like the carpet
your owner is the one get to enjoy your warmth not the cleaner.
That is how mum feels. She tried to give anything so that you will return.
bought you a new bed,new wardrobe,new dresser.
Even constantly giving a you a almost a thousand allowance a month.
But you said that they never love you.

My dad gave a 10 years gap between you and me.
because he wanted to show you that he could love you.
so that when i come around you wouldnt say that
Dad gives me more attention cause im his by blood.
but you never give him a chance.
you kept running away when he let out his arms.

I let go of this matter a long time ago.
but seeing them getting hurt,just hurt me too.
I accepted you even you didnt care.
Its like im never had a sister.
But you know i still love you.
But to you im always the kiddo.

I'll try to forget about this when i see the fireflies.
So who wants fireflies as souveniors.
I cant possibly catch all but i'll try.
The sad thing is that they only leave for two months.
How sad. But actually for the better.
The longer you stay the more problems you will obtain.

Today was such a beautiful day.
Thanks to my summer fling who tried to cheer up after all this.
Like trying to make me pissed before leaving.
Its really hard to try to get me pissed actually.
She tried so hard,but when i say something,she get pissed.

And we went east coast to walk around.
We actually did walk alot.
And we saw a bloody dead rat which got run over i think.
She screamed,I just stare.
After that we had bus rides.
After today,bus rides are never the same anymore.

I just wanna thank her for today.
You did against all odds to make me laugh alot.
And today is just loooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee!
Thanks for again for the wonderful day.(:

tag replies:
fadilah: Thanks for being there for me. Im there for you when you need me.
khalya: Thanks for the cheerups.Yeah an outing soon.aight.
-: i know i can alway count on you.but i'll try to handle this on my own first okay.
thanks for offering. oh and i miss you alot.
Sharifah: Hey buddy,thanks man.Everyone has issues just cant run away from them
Let hang out together. 1 2 3 Hang! See you in sch soon.
nurul: Hey its been a long time since we talked.And please please dont call me kak Wana.
Haahaha it kinda make me laugh cause i remember you guys sing the kak wana with
the elmo tune.
Nameraa(: :Thanks. Returning a favour is a big favour. I'll open up when i need to k.


Cause sometimes i like to handle it on my own.